All Behaviour is Communication: Understanding Your Child’s Big Feelings

Parenting is one of the most rewarding yet challenging roles we take on in life. When your child experiences big feelings—whether it’s a meltdown in the supermarket or a tantrum at bedtime—it can feel overwhelming and leave you questioning your approach. But what if we told you that all behaviour is a form of communication? By understanding this concept, you can unlock the tools to better support your child and foster a calmer, more connected relationship.

What Does "All Behaviour is Communication" Mean?

Children, especially younger ones, often lack the words to express their emotions, needs, or frustrations. Instead, they use their behaviour as their voice. A tantrum might be their way of saying, “I’m overwhelmed,” while withdrawal could signal feelings of sadness or anxiety. Recognising that behaviour is a clue to what your child is experiencing internally allows you to address the root cause rather than just reacting to the surface issue.

For example, if your child throws a tantrum in the supermarket, it might not be about the treats or  toy they’re asking for. They could be tired, overstimulated, or hungry. By looking beyond the behaviour, you can respond with empathy and meet their underlying needs.

Why Understanding Behaviour Matters

When you start to see behaviour as communication, it transforms the way you parent. Here’s how:

1. Builds Trust: When children feel their emotions are acknowledged, they learn to trust you as a safe space to express themselves.

2. Improves Communication: Validating their feelings helps children develop the language to articulate their emotions over time.

3. Reduces Frustration: Addressing the root cause of behaviour reduces stress for both you and your child.

4. Strengthens Relationships: Understanding your child’s needs fosters a deeper connection and mutual respect.

How to Respond to Big Feelings

Managing big feelings isn’t about “fixing” your child’s emotions but about guiding them through their experiences. Here are some practical steps:

• Validate Their Feelings: Acknowledge their emotions by saying things like, “I see you’re upset,” or “It’s okay to feel frustrated.” This helps them feel understood.

• Create a Supportive Environment: Ensure your child knows they can express their feelings without fear of punishment. A calm, safe space encourages open communication.

• Identify Triggers: Pay attention to patterns in your child’s behaviour. Are they more likely to have a meltdown when they’re tired or hungry? Recognising triggers allows you to plan ahead.

• Teach Emotional Regulation: Help your child develop the skills to manage their emotions over time. This might include calm breathing exercises, sensory tools, or simply taking a break in a quiet space.

Join Our Free Webinar: Parenting Children with Big Feelings

If you’re ready to dive deeper into understanding your child’s behaviour and what’s typical at different childhood stages, then join our free webinar, Parenting through Big Feelings. This session is designed to help you:

• Understand children’s ability to manage big feelings changes over time.

• Understand whether your child’s behaviour & feelings are typical for their age.

• Recognise whether your child needs extra support to learn how to manage their feelings.

Parenting doesn’t come with a manual, but with the right tools and insights, you can create a calmer, more connected family dynamic. Sign up for the webinar today and take the next step toward transforming your parenting journey.

Click here to register for the free webinar now!

Remember, your child’s behaviour isn’t about being “difficult”—it’s their way of asking for help. Let’s work together to decode their big feelings and support them in thriving.