When “Fine” Isn’t the Full Story: Supporting Your Autistic Child’s Mental Health This Mental Health Month

October is Mental Health Month, a good time to talk about something many parents of autistic children quietly wonder about. Is this big reaction just a hard day? Is it sensory overload? Or is my child struggling in a way I should look into?

Autism itself is not a mental health problem, it’s a developmental difference. But research shows autistic children and teens are more likely to experience mental health challenges. Amaze reports that around 50–80% of autistic people also experience a mental health condition, most commonly anxiety, depression or OCD. One study of young autistic people aged 10 to 14 found that 71% met criteria for at least one mental health disorder. These numbers aren’t a prediction for your child. They’re a reason to stay curious and informed.

Why it can be so hard to spot

Struggles often look different in autistic kids. Common signs of stress in autistic people, such as more repetitive behaviours, withdrawing from activities, avoiding certain places or tasks, trouble concentrating and difficulty falling asleep. Some autistic people also find it hard to identify and describe their emotions (called Alexithymia), can make it harder to recognise a struggle or ask for help.

Then there’s masking, where a child hides or changes their natural behaviours to fit in. Over time this can lead to autistic burnout, a deep physical and mental exhaustion, and affect mental health. That might be the child who “holds it together” all day at school and falls apart at home.

Families can also run into barriers outside the home. Amaze notes that low autism awareness among some professionals, communication and sensory differences, and poorly connected services can make it harder to get the right care. Sometimes a genuine concern is brushed off as “just part of their autism.” Autistic young people, like anyone else, have the right to access mental health services and feel safe doing so.

Three things you can try

1. Look at the environment first, and keep notes.

ReachOut’s parent resources point out that some behaviours come from a mismatch between a child and their environment, such as noise, crowds or sensory overload, rather than from a mental health condition. Jot down what you notice, when it happens and what was going on around your child. Patterns are easier to see on paper, and notes are useful to bring to your GP or health professional.

2. Check in in a way that suits your child.

If you know me then you’ll be used to hearing me say to use statements rather than questions. That’s because they’re an invitation not a demand. Try “I’ve noticed you’ve been quieter lately,” because it invites a fuller answer than yes or no. Talking face to face can feel too demanding so try a walk, going for a drive, a ball to kick around or something to hold can make a hard conversation feel easier. R U OK? suggests four steps: Ask, Listen, Encourage action, Check in. That last step matters. One conversation isn’t the end of it.

3. Find professionals who understand autism, and look after yourself too.

It’s okay to ask about a health professional’s experience with autism, finding someone who you & your child ‘fits’ with is important. And don’t forget your own wellbeing. ReachOut notes that caregivers of neurodivergent children are more likely to experience significant stress, and suggests joining support groups and making time for self-care.

You don’t have to do this alone

Understanding the link between autism and mental health isn’t about worrying more. It’s about noticing earlier, asking gently and getting support sooner. This Mental Health Month, start with one small step: write down what you’ve noticed, or have one relaxed conversation with your child.

Want to connect with other parents who get it? Join the waitlist for our online parent community:https://link.honesttechcompany.com/widget/form/3DWW5gSDlJDcsvv9jvYb. You can also explore ruok.org.au/how-to-ask, ReachOut’s autism information at au.reachout.com and its parent site at parents.au.reachout.com.

This is general information only and not a substitute for advice from a health professional. If you or someone you know needs urgent support, call Lifeline on 13 11 14. In an emergency, call 000. Kids Helpline (ages 5–25) is 1800 55 1800.